I have REALLY been struggling the past few weeks but I want to share that I have not thrown in the towel. This past week alone I had two binge days - but I immediately went back to healthy eating the very next day. According to my tracking on My Fitness Pal, I have even worked out more this past week than I have since I began trying to lose.
Before I go on about my woes and frustrations...let me show you the progress. I am SO embarrassed to show these photographs, but I know how inspirational seeing these things has been for me. I need to remind myself why I chose to do this, other than simply being healthy. I had no idea I had gotten so heavy - and I mean that. Dumb as it might sound, I was just really in denial.
|First Photo was taken the last week of May, the second was taking this morning.|
The good things -
- I have lowered my blood pressure from a near pre-hypertension range to well into the normal/healthy range.
- I have eliminated the back ache and sciatic nerve pain that I've been really suffering with over the past several years.
- My skin is clearer.
- I have dropped almost two sizes in clothing and 5 inches from my waist - everything looks better on! I have ENERGY to play with my kids and not only do I play with them outside almost every single day, I love to play with them! I don't EVER want to give that up, it has been the most wonderful part of losing weight so far.
- My kids are asking me now all the time if things are healthy for them - they want to do better to and do the right thing and it makes me feel wonderful to know that they are really watching my every move.
- When I started working out I could barely do two push ups. I still do "girl" push ups on my knees, but now I can do three reps of 10.
- I have discovered I actually LIKE to be active. I mean - I think I could even see myself playing sports and not detesting every smelly sweaty moment of it. LOL! I am actually good at some of it!!!
The rough things -
- I still have food cravings. Like serious, look up Disney World food and drool until I have to have cheesecake kind of cravings. I have tried upping my calories, lowering my calories, eating faux foods (read - diet ice cream, soy burgers), I've tried cutting out all processed foods, eating processed foods but limiting them...my next attempt is going to be allowing myself one cheat day a week to see if that helps any. Gah! Who knew that eating was so complicated? It really is an addiction.
- I am still learning how to separate food from emotions/stress/family/love. I never thought I had a flawed relationship with food (because I love it ALL so much!) but I really do. I don't think I'll ever be someone who only sees food as fuel...I'm too passionate about it to see it that way. But I am learning to associate the way I feel with what I eat...as in...if I eat four slices of pizza and half a cake I'm going to feel sick. LOL
There are far more good things than rough things so I am really happy to be doing this. I hope and pray it's for the last time as I've struggled with food/weight my entire life. For now - I'm feeling great and even though I have had some really weak and low days, over all I'm really proud of how far I've come. In the past I'd have given up by now. I almost did several times. But I kept thinking about the way I felt and the health issues that were starting to creep up and I don't want to experience those again.
Wish me luck! I will check in next week again for those interested...
- Valerie :)